Socially acceptable

haven't made any new posts for like ages 

so thought i should write something to keep refreshing this blog

of course with photos

actually i prefer throwing all the photos up here instead of writing something that comes together with them

coz i know no one is reading lol

anyway

went back to HK for a short sem break 

it was a good trip with some upset memories

something to do with self image

so would like to talk about this kind of topic 

but it would definitely be going without any logic that makes sense at all

warning...

i've always wanted to be a socially accepted person

'socially acceptable' is something that has no standard answers 

since everyone has their own principles and everyone (society) changes over time

hoping to become part of anything in the society and being treated equally, or good

or being a person that everybody dreams of being, that society thinks it is right

i think these might perhaps sum up most 

For me, i have to say ive been trying to make myself a person like this kind 

since high school, 

from minor things like hairstyle and handwriting to behavior and way of speaking

i tried hard to become part of what my friends or other teens would expect me to be 

i was not really a good girl at that time

so i did all these mainly because i wanted to feel belonged to my friends 

since i really felt uncomfortable being left behind

and looked cool to other girls same age as me, which was quite reasonable xd

Teens at the age of puberty always care much about self image, so as me

i even hated to go shopping or anywhere with family 

coz i thought it was stupid and totally awkward 

what i cared was all about friends and being accepted by them  

they'd almost dominated my entire life back in that time

as time went by, i thought differently

now i cant say im a fully grown mature person

yet at least i would think about others, esp. my family which i'd long neglected

and I would think before throwing out grumbles and complaints

and let not myself drown in the ocean of sadness and negativity

i would pick clothes that are currently on the trend 

i would behave in a lady like way

i would worry about if that person likes me or not (well sometimes)

for all the changes i have done, there's only one purpose

to be socially acceptable, 

which means to be treated equally or normally, to not be labelled as a freak

i want to blend in

i want to stand higher

i used to stand against the whole world,

i had strong empathy with all the emo things and did hurt myself several times with scissors

so stupid

one of the reasons why i have changed so much is the long gone puberty, probably

or maybe im just sick of being left out

or maybe the society plays a large part in it

i dun know

im still looking for the answer

im yet the best

random photos time

images taken by myself